The First Time I had to Cancel a Class — 2 mins

I had a private student who paid me very well, and with whom I had not discussed a cancellation policy. It hadn’t occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do a lesson, when suddenly I became ill and was realising that if I didn’t show I’d have to forfeit my pay. To me, this was unacceptable.

Usually this student’s classes last less than 45 minutes, though they pay for more time. A meeting might clash with the class, or an urgent phone call interrupts us, and I leave, having “taught” an English Conversation Practice class, and making good money for my “effort.”

I had been back and forth to the bathroom all night. I was in pain and embarrassed because I had done this to myself; after eating too much steak I took a fibre supplement, figuring it would help things go more smoothly. I poured some orange flavoured powder into a bottle of water, forgetting that it was supposed to be one teaspoon’s worth, and not one tablespoon’s. Things went very smoothly for a while, and then I shat out my stomach lining.

I couldn’t cancel the class, so at the designated time I drove to my student’s office. Before the lesson started I went to the bathroom. Ten minutes later I texted him from the stall, lying about about traffic and saying I’d be there as soon as possible. A quarter of an hour after that, I slumped into a chair opposite him, gulping water from a bottle the receptionist had offered me, and using my shirt cuff to wipe sweat from my forehead.

I don’t know whether he realised I was ill and took pity, or if he really needed to cut the class short, but very soon, I was back in that bathroom, typing out another text — this time to my afternoon student explaining that I was ever so slightly under the weather. It was the first cancellation I made. Whatever she was paying me, I had realised it was not worth my anxiety that I might leave on the seat a dark patch of bile and stomach acid.

I went to bed for the day and drank sports drinks until I felt better. For a brief moment I thought I might have to go to hospital, and that there would be a medical record of my stupidity. Luckily the symptoms subsided in a little over a day, and things got back to normal.

I would like to say that this was the only time I’ve ever made myself too ill to work, but the title of this post has the word “First” which implies there is a second. There is a second, and that’s next Tuesday’s post.

Have you ever poisoned yourself? Tell me about it in the comments, or tweet me.

If you enjoyed this and want to read more about the texts I’ve sent to students that haven’t gone as well, click here.